Discourse on Method
by Rin-neechan
Summary: Prologue to Immune to the Poison. How Greed first toys with the idea of not wanting to be human.


This little short is a prologue to 'Immune to the Poison" for those of you who have read it. It's how Greed first decides that he doesn't want to be human, before really thinking about it and really deciding that being human won't gain him anything. Now for those of you who have read Descartes's essay Discourse on Method, I am not about to goof on one of humanities most genius philosophers, but I think that in the eyes on a person who isn't human, (one with Greed's personality) would probably think that the point of the essay, to find ways to prove that humans exist, would be silly to question. I didn't quote the essay directly, save once, but from studying it in school, we determined how he came to the conclusion of "Cognito ergo sum" or "I think, therefore, I am" and summarized the major points of the essay. And how would Greed get his hands on that essay with those books if they're in the parallel world? Hoenhiem has been there, so that's how I figured that it would work. So yeah! I hope you guys like it!

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"Dante, from now on, lock the library door." Hoenhiem told, almost demanding, her. However, Dante wasn't about to do something without a reason. She had to do research in the library and if his reason wasn't good, it wasn't going to happen.

"Why?"

"Greed has been going in there"

"Yes I know, he was born in the library."

"He doesn't go there to sit, he goes in there to read."

"Greed doesn't know who to read."

"You created him to be a human being who died with the knowledge of how to read. So you're wrong, Greed can read and understands most of the books we have. So lock the door." Again, almost demanding. But this time he was more serious because he had explained himself.

"What has he been reading?" Why did she ask so many questions?

"Anything. He doesn't put them away. So I looked at the titles, he's reading on just about any subject, he probably picks them randomly."

"Then he's probably just bored."

"Dante, he'll start getting ideas."

"Ideas about what?"

"About anything! It doesn't matter. We can't let him gain too much knowledge. You created him, so you have to keep him in line."

"Greed won't go against us. And if he does, I'll kill him then recreate him. Simple as that. Stop worrying yourself over silly things."

Hoenheim hated not being taken seriously, but in the back of his mind, hoped that she was right. However even he knew that locking the door wouldn't be enough to really keep Greed out of there. If he wanted to, he could break the door open and do whatever he wanted. He started to regret letting her create a homunculus with so much destructive power.

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Meanwhile, in the library, Greed was reading a book filled with philosophical essays. As boring as he found the essays from countless time periods, he found one in particular quite funny.

An essay called "Discourse on Method" written by some guy called Descartes.

In fact, Greed didn't think it was just funny, hilarious was a better word. He just couldn't stop laughing as he read on.

The man was trying to think of a way to prove that he existed.

Greed found that statement alone laughable. Humans, at one time period, were so incredibly stupid, they didn't even know they were alive and searched for evidence to confirm it.

This guy claimed that he would search for the truth.

Again, Greed laughed. The truth that he understood was behind the gate, and this human wouldn't last one second there.

Then he wrote that he was to reject everything that he knew as true in his life, and simply doubted everything.

This was only getting better and better for Greed. What did he live his life for if he now was doubting all that he learned and had proof of? Whatever happened to 'live and learn'?

Then he doubted his senses, claiming that at times, they deceive us, making us feel things that didn't happen, or hear and see things that aren't there.

Greed figured that this guy was overdue for an eye exam, ear exam, and a CAT-scan.

He rejected his own reason as a human being, because people make mistakes based on their reason.

Shit happens, get over it.

He can't trust that he's not an illusion, because he's had dreams that were so real, he's woken up crying, smiling and even laughing.

If that was true, than the person dreaming all of this would be even more stupid than the rest of humanity.

Then this guy said that, even after all of this, he's thinking. Somebody is thinking, and he called that person 'I'. He concluded that,

_"Cognito ergo sum" _or "_I think, therefore I am"._

Greed put the book down and laughed on his way out of the library and started to be grateful that he wasn't human.


End file.
